i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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