She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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