Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
The adults are the big ones right?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
