He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
