Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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