Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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