I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
