we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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