My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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