My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
What changed your mind?
Being sober
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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