FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Randomize
