hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
