belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
