dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
