I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
