i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
