Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
