she kept yelling 'call me bella'
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
