dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
