new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
