the condom got lost in my hair
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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