Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
