You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
