'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
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