I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
