heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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