She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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