does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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