The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
