Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
