I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
