thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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