hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
