sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
