I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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