i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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