Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
