Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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