Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
