great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
