So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
