I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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