ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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