Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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