She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
