I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
