Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
