I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
