what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You need Xanax blowdarts
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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