I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
