the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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